


There's A Pile of My Clothes at the End of Your Bed

by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Friends With Benefits, Frottage, M/M, Rutting, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson/pseuds/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is in love with Louis Tomlinson, but when it comes right down to it, Louis doesn't feel the same way. When they start messing around on tour, Liam gets worried about Harry's emotional state and puts a stop to it. What happens when Harry tries to move on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A Pile of My Clothes at the End of Your Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a prompt fill on Tumblr.
> 
> This is the longest one shot I've ever written in my life. It took me, like, 4 hours to write????

Harry and Louis had worked out a little arrangement with each other for when they went on tour. They were both young men, and they both obviously had needs, and while they were on tour, who would be better to take care of those needs than each other? And maybe Harry had ulterior motives. Maybe Harry was in love with Louis and had been since back on X Factor. But Louis could never know that. It would ruin absolutely everything.

So they'd worked out a deal; when they were on tour, and Louis was miles and miles away from his girlfriend Eleanor, Harry would get Louis all to himself whenever either of them wanted.

They hadn't been on tour for long when Eleanor had somehow found out about the arrangement. Maybe Louis had felt guilty and told her, maybe he'd let it slip on accident, or maybe one of the other boys had called her. Harry had no way of knowing. All he knew was that he expected to be told to stop. He expected an angry phone call from Eleanor in which she would yell at him and call him names and tell him to keep away from Louis unless they were performing or doing something else business related. But it never came. And they didn't stop. Louis sometimes sneaking into Harry's bunk in the middle of the night. Or sharing a hotel room with him on days when they got such a luxury.

And the rest of the boys overheard. Of course they did. It wasn't as if Harry and Louis were the quietest people on earth. At first, all the boys would give them both glares of death the morning after they got up to anything, but after a while, the glares were only directed at Louis, and Harry was on the receiving end of some sympathetic smiles. Everyone knew Harry was in love with Louis. Everyone in the whole fucking world. That is, except for Louis.

They were nearing the end of tour, and Harry and Louis' little deal (He refused to call himself Louis' fuck buddy. It hurt too much. Because Louis was so much more to him than that) would be over soon. They were on the bus one afternoon, and Louis was sleeping on a little sofa, Harry sitting next to him, gazing down at his sleeping form with a mixture of pure joy and unadulterated sadness. Liam came over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder and then flicking his head towards the back of the bus, signaling Harry to come with him. Harry got up, following Liam to a different section of the bus, behind a curtain, and out of sight of the rest of the boys.

Liam sat Harry down on a couch and looked into his eyes intensely, "Harry, you've got to stop doing this to yourself."

"What exactly are you referring to, Liam?" Harry asked, although he knew exactly what Liam was referring to.

"You're worth more than this." Liam said softly, and suddenly, Harry felt angry.

"He's not hurting me on purpose." He snapped. "He doesn't know how I feel. He wouldn't be doing this if he knew."

"So tell him." Liam said.

"I can't." Harry shook his head, dropping Liam's gaze.

"Why not?"

"Because." Harry said, and Liam raised an eyebrow, that answer obviously not being good enough for him. "Because he's in love with Eleanor."

"If he was really so in love with her, do you think he'd be climbing into your bed every night?"

"It's not like that, Liam." Harry sighed. "Please don't say that, because that makes it worse. He's just...He's just horny and he's away from El, so what else is he supposed to do? I'm here and I'm willing, and he's taking advantage of that. El doesn't even seem to care. And if Louis...If Lou had feelings for me, that'd change everything. It wouldn't just be some stupid thing that we're doing anymore, it'd be cheating. And I'd be the other woman. Or the other man. Whatever you'd call it in this situation." Harry sighed. "And I don't want that, Li. I can't be that."

Liam put a hand on Harry's shoulder, "You think just because Louis supposedly doesn't have feelings for you that it doesn't count as cheating?"

Harry winced, because he knew Liam was going to tell him that it was, and he just couldn't be that. He couldn't be the guy that someone cheated on their partner with. That wasn't what he wanted.

"It is still cheating, Haz." Liam sighed. "That's why we all gave you a few nasty looks the first time we overheard, because what you're doing is wrong, Harry. And deep down, you know it is." Liam sat down next to Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "But after it kept on going, we sort of realized. It's not really your fault. I mean, sure. You could say no. Should say no. But it's almost always Louis who initiates it. You just go along with it. And I know how hard it would be for you to say no to him. But he's taking advantage of you, Harry. And I know you love him. We all do. But it's not right, and it's going to have to stop eventually."

"El doesn't care, though." Harry murmured, just trying to stop himself from realizing that everything Liam had just said was true.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Liam asked him. "I think she just didn't know what to say. How to cope. You know I'm almost certain she knows how you feel about him. You don't hide it. I think maybe she's convinced herself she's losing him, and she'd rather he go happy than go hating her, so she didn't ask him to stop, because what good would it do? He's thousands and thousands of miles away. What could she do about it, really?"

"Fuck, Liam. Why do you have to be right?" Harry sighed, his head thumping back against the wall. "Why do you have to be so goddamn right?"

"I'm sorry, mate. Truly I am." Liam sighed, squeezing Harry's shoulder with his hand.

"I'm going to put a stop to this. Soon, Li, I promise."

"Me and the rest of the lads are here, if you need to talk, or if you just need a distraction from Lou. I reckon things might get tense for a bit."

"You don't think he'll hate me, do you? I can't have him hate me, Li."

"No." Liam shook his head. "I think he won't get it, and we'll all spend a bit of time wondering how he can be so fucking clueless when your feelings for him are staring him straight in the face all the time. But I don't think he'll be mad. He'll be confused, and hopefully he'll leave you alone and go have a wank like the rest of us."

Harry would have chuckled if it weren't for the fact that, in terms of an actual relationship as more than friends, Louis could replace Harry with a wank, while Harry could replace Louis with absolutely no one.

Liam must have seen the hurt in his eyes, because he rested his head on Harry's shoulder and just stayed there, "Everything'll be alright, mate."

"Thank you, Liam." Harry half whispered.

000

That night, Harry was lying in his bunk, his mind full of everything he'd talked about with Liam that afternoon.

When he felt his bed dip slightly as Louis climbed up to join him, he froze, his breath hitching slightly.

"Did I scare you?" Louis whispered in his ear, his breath coming out and tickling the flesh.

"A bit." Harry lied. He had really just been hoping Louis wouldn't come up tonight.

"Hey, look at me." Louis said.

Harry turned around from where he was facing the wall, and suddenly his senses were filled with nothing but crinkly blue eyes and a dazzling smile and messy caramel hair, and he thought that maybe one last night with Louis would be okay. One last night, and then he could tell him they had to stop. That this wasn't fair to El. It wasn't fair to Harry, either, but Louis didn't need to know that.

"Everything okay?" Louis asked softly, obviously noticing Harry's calculating gaze as he contemplated what to do.

"Fine."

Louis nodded, and Harry wondered how he could notice small little details, like when Harry's stare was slightly vacant, or lacked that certain sparkle it usually had, and yet he couldn't see just how madly in love with him Harry was. He supposed that didn't matter, though. Louis was with Eleanor and Harry was just a quick shag for him whenever the timing seemed convenient.

So this was it, Harry decided. One last time with Louis. One last time and then never again.

He leaned in, kissing Louis hard on the mouth, an unusual sense of urgency in the kiss. Louis seemed slightly taken aback, but after the initial shock, he began to kiss Harry back with just as much fervor. He ran his tongue along Harry's plump bottom lip, and Harry opened his mouth, taking Louis' tongue inside and sucking on it gently, eliciting a moan from the older lad. Louis brought his hands up to tangle in Harry's curls, and Harry brought his hands down to rest firmly on Louis' perfect round ass.

Louis was already hard against Harry's thigh, as his hips bucked forward, and Harry assumed that he'd been hard before he'd made his way up to Harry's bunk. It often happened like that. Because if he wasn't hard, what would be the point of this anyway? All Harry was to him was a bit of relief.

He forced himself to stop thinking about that. Stop thinking about all the sad things that he'd known all along, but had been keeping at the back of his mind until today, when Liam had pushed them all to the front in a few moments of horribly painful honesty that part of Harry wished he'd never heard, and part of him wished he'd been told sooner. Before this all started.

Louis tugged on Harry's hair, pulling him out of his thoughts as a gasp escaped from his lips and into Louis' mouth. Louis rolled them over so he was on top and slipped a hand into Harry's boxers, stroking slowly over his length until Harry was just as hard as he was. He then pulled his hand back out, aligning their crotches and rolling his hips down into Harry's, causing the curly haired boy to moan low in his throat.

Louis attached his lips to Harry's neck, sucking hard, and Harry really hoped there wouldn't be a bruise, because they had a show tomorrow. Usually he'd say something. Try to get Louis to stop, because neither of them wanted to show up for a performance covered in love bites. But tonight he didn't really care. Not enough to ask Louis to stop. Because this was his last chance to be with Louis, and so maybe he did want a little bit of a reminder, even if it would be gone within a week or so. Maybe he did want to be able to keep this with him, if only for a few more days.

Louis bit down gently on the bruising flesh, and Harry gasped, his hips bucking up into Louis'. Louis began to rut against Harry faster, and Harry could tell he was close. He knew Louis like the back of his hand. Every little detail. He wondered for a brief second if Eleanor ever knew when Louis was about to come. If she'd figured out all his little tells, and everything he liked. But he quickly pushed that thought to the back of his mind, just the thought of Louis being with Eleanor in this way making him sick to his stomach.

He closed his eyes, focusing on the feel of Louis' hard cock rubbing against his, his lips moving gently over Harry's neck as he sucked and nipped at the flesh. He ran his tongue along the skin, and it was sensitive, and Harry knew then that there would definitely be a mark. A rather large mark, it felt like. But he just couldn't bring himself to care.

Louis brought his lips to Harry's ear, the speed of his hips increasing, and becoming more sporadic as he whispered, "Come with me, Harry." before biting Harry's ear lobe.

And that was it. They were both coming. Together.

Part of Harry wished they had done more than just this, since it would be the last time. But another part of him felt like this was sort of perfect. They'd come together, and they'd never done that before. Maybe it was a bit serendipitous, coming together, never to come with each other again.

Louis let out a tired, happy little sigh before crawling out of Harry's bunk and most likely going to change his boxers. Harry figured he ought to do the same, but decided to wait until Louis was out of his way, not wanting to look at his face just yet.

There had been a small part of him that had always wished that Louis would stick around to cuddle after. Harry had always been a cuddly sort of guy, especially when he was with someone the way that he was with Louis. Especially when he loved someone the way he loved Louis. Although, to be honest, he wasn't sure he had ever loved anyone quite so intensely as he loved Louis. But now, as he lay there, his boxers sticky and his breathing heavy, he was glad that Louis didn't want to stick around and cuddle. Because he wouldn't have been able to bear it. He knew he would cry.

000

When Harry awoke the next morning and climbed out of his bunk, Zayn, Niall and Louis were nowhere in sight, presumably eating breakfast. But Liam was sitting on his own bunk, the lower one that sat across from Harry's own top bunk. His arms were crossed over his bare chest, and he was giving Harry a stern look.

"What is it now?" Harry groaned as his feet hit the floor.

"Did you forget everything we talked about yesterday?" Liam asked.

"You heard us last night?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer. Liam nodded. "I just wanted one last time, Li. A sort of goodbye without really saying it. And he didn't know it was a goodbye. Just me. And maybe this'll just make it hurt worse, but I just needed one last time, Liam. One last time before I try and pick up and move on from here, because I honestly don't know what to do after this."

Liam stood up, closing the few feet of space between them and hugging Harry tightly, "You'll go back to being best mates. Best mates who don't have sex. You're going to move on, and you're going to find someone who'll treat you properly. You're going to find someone who doesn't have a girlfriend and will be able to give you all of their heart, because that's what you deserve, Harry."

Harry could feel the tears welling up then, because Liam really was like the brother he'd never had, and he meant so much to him. He didn't think he'd be able to make it through this thing with Louis if it weren't for Liam.

"Thank you." Harry said, squeezing Liam just a little tighter.

"Any time, mate."

000

That night, Louis crawled into Harry's bunk yet again, and Harry didn't turn around from his place facing the wall. He felt numb, and maybe just the slightest bit broken.

"Harry?" Louis whispered as he settled himself on the mattress.

"Not tonight, Lou." Harry said, his voice lacking any and all emotion.

"Have I done someth-"

"No. Just...Not tonight." Harry said.

And he listened as Louis climbed down from his bunk, and he waited until he knew he wasn't coming back, and then Harry broke down and let himself cry. Silently, making sure to never make a sound, because he knew that if Louis heard him crying, he'd want to know why. Because Louis really was Harry's best mate, and he cared about him. Harry knew that. But he didn't care for him the way that Harry wanted him to, and as much as he knew he couldn't change it, it still hurt.

And so he cried. He cried until he fell asleep, and woke up with crusty eyes that hurt more than usual in the morning sun.

And the process continued for a week. Louis coming up, and Harry saying not tonight, and Louis wondering what he'd done wrong, though he wondered silently now. And Harry would cry his silent tears until he fell asleep on a wet pillow and woke up with a puffy face, and sympathetic looks from all of the boys, aside from Louis. Harry assumed that Liam had filled the other two in, and Harry was glad to have their support, even if it wouldn't help him a bit, it was just nice to know that they cared.

And then eventually Louis stopped coming up, and Harry stopped crying as much, even though it still hurt. It hurt like someone had ripped his heart out and taken a hole puncher to it. But he knew he couldn't dwell on the pain anymore. He had to move on. Had to make himself realize that Louis couldn't be the only one for him, because he wasn't even an option for Louis. Not really.

000

A couple more weeks passed, and finally the tour was over. Harry was excited to just go home and relax for a few days, away from Louis. He knew he'd miss him terribly. He always did, when they were apart. But he knew it would be what was best for him. Maybe he'd go crash on Ed's couch, just so he didn't have to be alone, but didn't have to be surrounded by the prying eyes and sympathetic smiles of his band mates that only ever seemed to make him feel just a bit worse.

Before he could do that, though, he'd agreed to go out clubbing with the boys tonight. It was supposed to just be a boys night out, just the five of them. But when the rest of the lads got there to pick him up, Eleanor and Louis were sitting in the car together, whispering to each other and giggling. Harry rolled his eyes. Did they have to be quite so obnoxious?

"Sorry, mate." Zayn muttered. "I told Louis he was being a complete twat. That I wasn't bringing Perrie, so why the hell should he bring Eleanor, but he said he's been promising her for weeks to see her as soon as we arrived back."

"No." Harry said. "You know what? I'll be fine. They're together. They're in love. They're happy. Lou and I were never any of those things, and I haven't got a right to be jealous, and so I won't be. I'm just going to pretend they aren't there."

"That's the spirit, mate!" Niall said, clapping him on the back. "I'll buy ya a pint!"

Harry smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He was pretty sure he'd need a lot more than a pint to make it through this night.

000

They arrived at the club, and it was busy and thrumming with life. Harry's mood lightened just a bit as soon as they arrived. Louis and Eleanor were holding hands, still whispering in each other's ears and giggling, but at least now Harry had a distraction.

He was pretty sure all of the lads were annoyed with Louis, however. He hadn't spoken more than two words to any of them since Harry had gotten in the car, apparently finding his secret conversation with his girlfriend to be more important than celebrating the completion of an amazing world tour with his four best mates.

Niall dragged Harry over to the bar and they sat down, Niall buying them each a pint, and they sat there drinking together as Louis, El, Liam and Zayn went to go find a booth somewhere near the back of the club.

"How're ya holdin' up, mate?" Niall asked, half of his pint gone already.

Harry shrugged, "Fine."

"You sure?" Nial asked. "You don't need to talk?"

"No." Harry shook his head, taking a long drink. "I'm fine, really. But thanks for checking up on me. I really do appreciate it."

"No problem." Niall smiled, finishing off his pint and ordering them each another. "If you ever do need to talk, you know where to find me."

Harry sort of wished he and Niall could just spend the evening together hiding out at the bar. The Irishman's carefree, happy attitude was infectious, and Harry found himself with a real smile on his face for the first time in ages. He knew, though, that he'd have to spend some time with the rest of his band mates eventually. But eventually didn't mean now, and so he and Niall had a couple more pints, Harry feeling thoroughly buzzed now. They chatted and laughed, and reminded each other of funny things that had happened on tour. But after some time, Harry realized that they were neglecting the rest of the boys, and that it wasn't fair to leave them all out just because Louis was sickening him this evening.

"Let's go find the other lads, shall we?" Harry asked, hopping up off his bar stool.

Niall agreed, nodding his head and getting up. Niall had always held his alcohol much better than Harry. It was probably an Irish thing, the curly haired boy reasoned. But whatever the reason may be, Niall was much steadier on his feet than Harry, even though they'd had the exact same amount to drink.

They made it over to the table where the rest of their friends were gathered, and Harry saw that there were only two seats available. One next to Lou and El, who seemed to be doing some strange cross between snogging and speaking to each other, which had Harry nearly ready to empty the contents of his stomach all over them, and one next to Liam. Harry knew that Niall really enjoyed sitting next to Liam and was preparing himself to be stuck next to the oh-so-happy couple, but before he knew it, Niall was taking the place next to Eleanor, and Harry was free to sit next to Liam, where he would much rather be.

"How are you holding up?" Liam asked him quietly.

"M'fine." Harry said.

Zayn leaned across Liam then, tapping Harry on the arm to get his attention, "Don't look now, but I definitely see someone checking you out." Zayn said.

Harry groaned, automatically assuming it was a girl.

"Why do you seem disappointed, mate?" Zayn asked. "He's right fit. If I was gay I'd shag him."

Harry perked up a bit at the fact that it was a man. He knew he wasn't nearly over Louis yet, but what better way to move on than to find someone new?

"He was watching you on your way over from the bar. Looking at your ass, I think. I'm pretty sure he liked what he saw."

Harry wanted to look, but knew he shouldn't, "Dammit, Zayn. I want to look."

"Just wait." Zayn said. "If he turns away I'll tell you."

Harry sat there, trying to have a conversation with Liam, but not quite being able to focus. He felt like a teenage girl, for Christ's sake.

"Oh." Zayn said. "Oh, he's not turning around. He's coming over."

"Excuse me?" Harry heard a rather deep voice from behind him.

He turned around to face the man, "Yes?"

"Don't suppose there's any chance of me getting a dance with you, is there?"

Harry's heart was pounding in his chest. He'd never been hit on by a guy before. Not really. Media sort of got in the way of that, playing him off as some sort of ladies man when he was nothing but. So either this man didn't keep up with the latest news and didn't know who Harry was, or he didn't care. Harry liked the odds of both options, and decided it couldn't hurt to get up and dance with the man. He was fit, as Zayn had said. A bit taller than Harry, which was nice, because Harry was used to being the tallest. He had broad shoulders that looked absolutely wonderful in the tight white t-shirt he was wearing. Harry could see the outline of his stomach muscles through the shirt, as well as some rather impressive biceps. Harry didn't usually go for the muscly type, but this man had a kind and gentle face, and it wasn't as if he were so muscly that it was unpleasant to look at.

And maybe this was what Harry needed right now. Someone bigger and seemingly older than him. Someone who was genuinely interested in him. And it was just one dance, so if he didn't end up liking him, then no harm no foul.

"I'd love to dance." Harry smiled at the man. "Though I must admit, I'm not very good."

"Being good at dancing is all relative. I might happen to find you to be a great dancer."

Oh. Well. He was rather charming, wasn't he?

"You haven't seen me dance yet." Harry joked, a real laugh slipping from between his lips.

"No, I suppose I haven't." The man said, holding out a hand, which Harry took.

He let the man lead him away, off towards the middle of the dance floor where they became surrounded by hot, sweaty bodies, the floor shaking with the beat of the base.

The man turned Harry around so that Harry's back was flush with his front, and they began to move along with the beat. Harry wasn't really sure what he was doing, only ever really having danced with the boys, and they just goofed around more than actually dancing. He didn't count his prom, because you didn't really get this close and grind on people at prom. At least, Harry hadn't.

He must not have been too bad at it, though, because the man seemed to be enjoying dancing with him, and Harry sort of liked this. A slightly taller, broader figure pressed up against him. It was comforting. He felt safe, even surrounded by all of these people.

"So." Harry said, speaking loud enough to be heard over the music. "What's your name?"

"Roger." The man said. "And yours?"

"Nice to meet you, Roger." Harry flashed a dazzling smile. "I'm Harry."

Recognition donned on Roger's face then, and Harry wondered if that was the end of this wonderful moment.

"Harry Styles?"

"The very same." Harry said. "Doesn't change you wanting to dance with me, does it?"

"Not a bit." Roger shook his head. "Though I had thought it'd change you wanting to dance with me."

Harry laughed, "Media will do that. I'm quite gay, though." Harry figured that he probably sounded like an idiot, and on top of that, he shouldn't be revealing his true sexual orientation to near strangers. But if he always kept it a secret, how was he ever supposed to meet someone?

"Good to know." Roger chuckled.

They continued to dance for a while, Harry getting lost in the music, and the feel of Roger's body against his, and he had practically forgotten all about Louis.

"How old are you?" Harry asked after a while.

"Bit older than you." Roger said. "Twenty six."

"Hmm." Harry hummed. "Seven year difference. I wouldn't say that's too bad." He chuckled to himself before saying, "If you listened to the media, in fact, they'd probably say you're quite young for me."

Roger laughed then, and Harry quite liked the sound. It was a deep, joyous chuckle, and it made his insides twist up happily.

"You've got a nice laugh." He said, and maybe it was the alcohol that was fueling his extreme honesty, but it seemed to be working so far.

"Glad you think so." Roger said. "I have a feeling you'll be hearing it a lot if we spend any more time together."

A wide smile spread across Harry's face, because firstly, that sounded as if Roger liked him enough to want to see him again, and secondly, it meant that Roger found him funny.

The song that was playing ended, and Harry and Roger were both sweaty and a bit worn out, so Roger decided to walk him back over to his table so he could spend the rest of the evening with his mates.

"Hey, Harry?" Roger said, when they were a foot or so away from the table. "Can I get your number?"

Harry let out a sigh, "Thank god. I thought I was going to have to ask you."

Roger let out another laugh, this one even greater than the first, and pulled a pen out of his pocket, handing it to Harry. Harry grabbed Roger's hand, writing his phone number on it carefully, before walking over to join the boys.

"Did you get the bloke's phone number?" Zayn hollered, leaning sloppily across Liam to smack Harry hard in the arm. It was obvious that he had continued drinking in Harry's absence.

"Gave him mine." Harry said, smiling.

"He better." Hiccup. "Call you." Zayn said. "Or I'll find him."

"I'm sure you will." Harry laughed.

And then he noticed that Louis and Eleanor were nowhere to be seen, but he found that he didn't care where they were, because he had Roger's attention, and that was exciting and new, and so maybe he didn't need Louis after all.

A few hours later, everyone was exhausted, and they all headed out, calling for a car to come and get them. As they were driven back to their respective houses, Harry got a text.

To Harry: Harry. It's Roger. It was really nice meeting you tonight.

Harry smiled, immediately saving the number in his phone, lest he forget.

To Roger: The pleasure was all mine.

To Harry: Well, I'm off to bed. Been a long night. I'll text you in the morning?

To Roger: I'd like that. Goodnight, Roger.

To Harry: Goodnight. xx

Harry was pretty sure it was just the alcohol that was still in his system, but he had to restrain himself from doing little kicky feet at the short exchange.

"Was that the lad from the bar?" Niall asked, his voice coming out louder than anyone had expected.

"It was." Harry nodded.

"Good on ya, mate."

Harry chuckled, and the rest of the car ride passed in silence.

000

Harry and Roger had been texting on and off all week. Roger had a job, so they mostly talked in the evenings.

It was Saturday now, and the boys had insisted they all come over to Harry's just to hang out. Harry was feeling alright about being around Louis now, and so he'd said yes.

They were all gathered 'round, eating pizza and watching some crap telly while Niall complained that he wanted to play FIFA, but no one would play with him.

And maybe it was a bit rude, but Harry was texting Roger. Why shouldn't he, really? It wasn't like the lads didn't text their girlfriends even when the five of them were hanging out, so he figured it'd be fine to text Roger.

He sort of wished he had been alone, though, when a certain text came in which caused him to squeal slightly.

"What the hell was that?" Zayn asked.

"Nothing." Harry said quickly.

"You've just shrieked like a banshee, Harry." Louis said. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Just Roger wants to take me out tonight."

"Like a date?" Liam asked.

Harry bit his lip; nodded.

"Well congrats!" Niall hollered. "I think this calls for a celebratory game of FIFA. Anyone?"

Zayn laughed, "If I play, will you shut up?"

"Obviously."

"Then fine."

"Lads, I've got to run for a bit." Liam said. "If any of you three want to come over later while Harry's on his date, feel free, yeah?"

"I'll certainly take you up on that." Louis said.

Zayn and Niall just nodded, already engrossed in their game.

"Have fun tonight, Harry!" Liam called as he walked out the door. "You deserve it!"

Harry smiled after his friend before turning to Louis, "Lou, help me find something to wear, would you?"

000

Louis had been slightly on edge ever since Harry had announced his date with Roger for that night, and he hadn't a clue why. What did it matter to him?

He found himself quite annoyed at Harry for asking him to pick an outfit. What the hell did he know about impressing a guy? What the hell did he know about dressing Harry? He should've asked Zayn. Zayn would've been more help.

"Doubt I'll be much help, but sure."

"Come on, then." Harry said, walking off towards his room.

Louis followed him in, and he realized it had been absolutely ages since he'd been in Harry's room. It looked quite different, but somehow exactly the same.

"So, I was thinking black skinny jeans, but I always wear those." Harry commented.

"They look good on you, though. Go with them." Louis said, looking everywhere but at Harry.

He felt some strange emotions surging through him and he couldn't place them. All he knew was that he would rather be anywhere else than here, helping Harry picked out an outfit for his date.

"I don't know where we're going, so maybe a nice plaid button up? That could be casual or dressy." Harry commented.

"Sounds perfect, Haz. See? You didn't need me."

"A second opinion is always nice." Harry shrugged.

Louis nodded, "Look, I'm not feeling so well. I think I'm going to head home."

"Yeah, sure." Harry said. "See you later."

Louis walked out of the house, his pace a bit faster than was necessary, but he honestly feared that if he didn't get out of there soon he would absolutely explode.

He really needed to figure out what had him so angry.

000

Roger had told Harry he'd pick him up at six, and at exactly six sharp, his doorbell rang. He went to answer it and found Roger standing there in some dark wash blue jeans and a rather nice suit jacket with what looked to be a simple white button up underneath. Harry suddenly felt rather under dressed.

"Should I go change?" He asked, nervously.

"Hello to you, too." Roger joked.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry." Harry shook his head. "Hi, Roger. You look fantastic. Should I go change?"

Roger laughed, and Harry felt a few of his nerves flutter away.

"No need to change. You look great."

Harry felt himself blushing just a bit, "But I feel under dressed. Where are we going?"

"Just a nice little seafood place. You look perfect."

Perfect? Roger thought he looked perfect?

"Yeah?" Harry asked.

"Absolutely." Roger said, holding out his arm to link with Harry's.

With their arms linked together, they walked out to Roger's car. He opened Harry's door for him, and Harry could feel himself blushing again. This was silly. He felt a bit foolish. He had the backs of his hands pressed against his cheeks, checking to see if they were warm when Roger got into the car, and he quickly removed his hands from his face.

"You're cute when you blush." Roger said.

"Good thing, if you're going to say stuff like that."

Harry really wasn't used to being flirted with. Not by anyone who he actually had any interest in. Sure, he and Louis had always been quite close in a way that most people considered flirting, but it never had been, and Harry knew that. So this was practically a whole new experience for him.

"If you weren't so cute I wouldn't have to say stuff like that."

Harry felt himself blushing more.

And maybe being called cute should make him feel less masculine, maybe it should make him feel young, maybe it should make him feel stupid, because honestly, what nineteen year old male wanted to be cute? But he didn't feel any of those things. He felt wanted, and he felt like maybe for the first time in his life, someone fancied him, and he could actually fancy them back, and that was a really nice feeling.

They arrived at the restaurant rather quickly and went inside. Roger had made reservations, and they were immediately seated at a table for two at the back of the restaurant. The waiter brought them each a menu, and Harry told Roger to order for him, because Harry had never been here before, and Roger had.

Harry ordered a glass of Pepsi, and Roger got a glass water. When the waiter came back with their drinks, Roger decided to just order them each the house special, which was a bit of practically everything.

"One plate would usually be enough for both of us, but I thought I'd get two in case there isn't much you like, in which case you can pick all of what you like off of my plate as well."

Roger really was quite the gentleman, and Harry found himself to be rather smitten.

"Sounds perfect." He said.

The food was served surprisingly quickly, with hardly enough time for them to really start a conversation.

Harry dug in, trying all the different types of fish that covered his plate. There were crab legs and shrimp and fried scallops and everything was delicious.

"On the bright side, you can keep your whole plate." Harry laughed, taking a bite of some steamed trout. "On the down side, that's a lot of food."

"I can always just take my leftovers home with me. They're not quite as good reheated, but they'll do."

"What's your absolute favorite of everything on the tray?" Harry asked.

"Tough question, Harry. Tough question. Why must you put me through this?"

"I'm evil, I know." Harry laughed.

"I'd have to say the shrimp dipped in the lemon butter." Roger nodded, as if confirming his own answer with himself. "What's your favorite then?"

"You like everything, right?" Harry asked, and Roger nodded. "So you won't think it's weird if I say the squid tentacles?" Harry laughed.

"Not at all. It's tasty. If you didn't like the calamari I might have to leave you behind to cover the check."

They both laughed, and Harry enjoyed how well they were getting along. Almost as if they'd known each other for years.

The rest of the dinner went by quite nicely, and Roger had even fed Harry a bite or two here and there, causing them both to laugh.

When they were finished with dinner, Roger drove Harry home, walking him up to his front door.

"We'll do this again soon?" Roger asked.

"Definitely." Harry smiled.

Roger leaned in, kissing Harry gently on the mouth. And they both tasted like fish, and Harry should have found it horrible, but he didn't. It was nice. It was nice, and he sort of wanted to do it again.

So he did.

He leaned up just a bit, which was funny for him, because when was he ever shorter? Connecting their mouths again, this time, neither of them pulling back so quickly.

"I had a really great time, Roger." Harry said as they finally parted.

"The pleasure was all mine."

Harry smiled, remembering having said something similar to that after they'd first met. He unlocked his door and walked inside, waving a quick goodbye to Roger before shutting the door, and pulling out his phone to text Liam, because for some reason Harry just really wanted to share the news with him.

To Liam: We. Kissed.

To Liam: Me and Roger. We kissed. He kissed me first. LIAM!

Harry put his phone down, picking it back up a moment later to make sure he'd sent it to the correct number and then laughing at himself. He sounded like a teenage girl, but he really couldn't care less.

000

Louis showed up at Liam's house about an hour after he'd stormed out of Harry's. He didn't really remember driving here, but he was here now, so he might as well go inside. He walked up to the front door and knocked, and it sounded much more urgent than he had intended it to.

The door swung open, and there was Liam, "Louis?" He said, looking concerned.

"Yeah, hi." Louis said, coming into the house and pacing around the living room for just a moment before flopping down on the couch.

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." Louis shook his head.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Liam asked, sitting down on the couch next to Louis.

"I mean that I'm angry and I don't know why, Liam. Why am I so angry?"

"How should I know?" Liam asked. "Take a deep breath and then talk this out with me."

Louis closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

"So, you know, Harry's going on a date with that Roger bloke and I just...As soon as he said it, I started feeling weird. I didn't know what it was, but it was anger, Liam. I'm angry. And then he asked me to help him find an outfit, and how the fuck was I supposed to know what he should wear on a date?" Louis huffed. "And who the hell is even named Roger? It's such a stupid fucking name. A dumb fucking name for a stupid tosser."

"You don't even know him, Lou. From what Harry's told me he seems like a nice guy."

"And that's another thing!" Louis shouted. "How come he's been talking to you so much? Spending every free day with you? I'm supposed to be his best mate! He's supposed to spend all this time with me, and now he's not, and he was acting strange towards the end of tour and I don't know what I've done, and I don't know why I'm so fucking angry because none of it makes sense."

"Are you sure you don't know why you're upset?" Liam asked, looking Louis deep in the eyes.

"Pretty sure."

"Because you're not trying to figure it out. Stop thinking and just search. Search your heart and figure it out."

Louis rolled his eyes. Since when did Liam give such good advice? This bullshit used to be Zayn's job.

"How do I do that?" He mumbled.

"Close your eyes and just feel for a moment." Liam said.

Louis wasn't sure if this was going to work, but it was worth a shot. He just wanted to know why he was so angry all of a sudden. He played back the last few months in his mind, trying not to think about anything, and just remember what he felt. He remembered a lot of sex with Harry, and he had felt...Good. And he remembered getting home and seeing Eleanor again, and he had felt underwhelmed, but definitely as though he had missed her. He remembered Harry going off to dance with Roger at the club, and he hadn't known what he had felt at the time, but it felt a lot like jealousy now. But that didn't make any sense. No, he was supposed to be feeling. Stop thinking, Louis. He told himself. Stop trying to rationalize. He'd been jealous, and that must've been why he'd dragged El off somewhere to snog in private, and that had felt nice, but her lips felt strange against his, and now he realized it was because they weren't Harry's. Her hands were too small on his back, and it hadn't been right. And then today Harry had gotten the text from Roger asking to take him out, and Louis had thought he'd been annoyed and angry, but as he came to feel now, it was jealousy again.

He opened his eyes, looking at Liam, "I...I'm jealous." He whispered.

"Of?"

"Of the fact that Roger's out with Harry right now and it should be me. I should be with Harry right now."

"And why is that, Louis?" Liam asked.

"Because I'm in love with him." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Louis had slapped a hand over his mouth.

Where had that come from? He wasn't in love with Harry, he was in love with Eleanor. And yet when he assessed his feelings, all the rest had been correct, and why else would he have been jealous?

"Mhhm." Liam said with a short little nod, as though he'd been expecting this.

"No." Louis whispered, shaking his head violently back and forth.

"Yes." Liam said. "You wouldn't have said it just now if you didn't feel it, Lou. You know you wouldn't."

"But I can't."

"Love Harry?"

"Right." Louis nodded.

"Why? What's stopping you?"

"Because, Li. I'm meant to be with El. I'm meant to love El. She thinks I love her, and I thought I did too, and I can't just break her heart. And I've fucked things up with Harry." Louis shook his head. "Did he...D'you know if he...?"

"Loved you back?"

Louis nodded.

"He did." Liam said solemnly. "It was killing him every day on tour. Being with you, but never truly being with you, because he had all these feelings that you didn't have. I had to put a stop to it after I saw how torn up he was. I told him it had to end."

"Oh." Louis said. "Oh, that's why..."

"Mhhm."

"He's moved on, though. On to this Roger bloke, who treats him well, and doesn't take advantage of him, and that's what I've done, isn't it? I took advantage of him, and I didn't even realize I was. I'd never do that to him on purpose, Liam, you know I wouldn't."

"I know." Liam nodded. "I told him as much."

"What do I do?" Louis asked, defeated.

"You tell him how you feel."

"But what about Roger?" Louis asked.

"I'm pretty sure there's a place in his heart for you that even Roger can't fill." Liam assured him.

Just then, Liam's phone went off and he looked at it, his expression unchanging, as if he was trying not to react to the words on the screen.

"Who is it?" Louis asked.

"No one." Liam said. "Just mum."

"It is not your mum." Louis said, always able to tell when Liam was lying. "Is it him? Harry?"

Liam sighed, nodding.

"What'd he say?"

"Nothing important."

"Liam, stop lying to me." Louis sighed. "What did he say?"

"Just that Roger kissed him. That they kissed."

"Oh." Louis could feel his heart begin to crack, and it was stupid, because he'd only just realized how he felt about Harry. But he was rather certain he'd been feeling this way for a dreadfully long time.

"Go over there, Louis. Tell him how you feel."

"But El."

"You can deal with her tomorrow." Liam said. "See how things go with Harry first."

"No because...Because if things go well with Harry-"

"Stop." Liam said. "I don't need any more detail than that. I'm glad you've got your head on right this time. If you feel like you need to end things with El now then do it. I'm here for you, mate."

Louis nodded slowly, picking up the phone and dialing Eleanor's number.

000

Harry was settled on his couch, a wide grin set across his face as he replayed the date in his mind. He didn't want to text Roger until at least tomorrow afternoon, not wanting to seem desperate.

There was a knock on his door, and he wondered who on earth it could be at this hour of the night. When he opened it, Louis was standing there, but he didn't even get a chance to greet him before Louis was pressing his lips against his, and for just a moment, Harry almost melted into the familiar feel of the kiss. But no. He couldn't.

"Lou, get off!" Harry yelled pushing the other boy away. "Things were different when we were on tour, but you should be at El's house. And I've got a...Well, I'm not sure what he is. We aren't anything yet. But I've got Roger."

"I'm sorry." Louis whispered, and he sounded so broken that Harry couldn't just kick him out.

"Lou?" Harry asked. "Lou, come in."

Louis walked slowly into the house, his shoulders slumped in defeat as he sat down on the couch. Harry followed after him, sitting next to him, but not so close that they were touching.

"What's the matter?"

"I've broken up with El." Louis said.

Harry was stunned into silence for a moment, "What? Why?"

"It seems silly now. Maybe it was a waste." Louis sighed.

"Are you going to tell me the reason or not?"

"I shouldn't." Louis said. "I shouldn't make things hard for you. I know how much I've hurt you, and it isn't right for me to do this, but I have to tell you, Harry."

Harry couldn't breathe. Louis knew he'd hurt him? Had he known all along, or was this a new discovery? Had Liam told him?

"When you told us all earlier that you were going on a date I'd been angry and slightly annoyed, and I didn't know why. And I'm sure Roger's a great guy, Harry. I know he must be, and I just hope he deserves you. Because what I...I went to Liam's to talk this out. And what I've come to see, Harry, is how much I love you. And I understand if you've moved on and you want to be with Roger, and I'm sorry for barging in here like this, but Liam said I needed to tell you, and I think it was supposed to make me feel better, but I actually just feel like throwing up."

"You love me?" Harry whispered.

"Yeah. And I was really upset about your date with Roger, and then just as I'd figured out how I felt, you texted Liam and you said that you'd kissed him, and I was so upset, Harry, and I was hurt. And I know I've got no right to be. But I guess that's why I kissed you when I got here. Otherwise the whole time I was trying to talk to you I'd just have kept thinking about how my lips weren't the last ones on yours and I don't know if I could've done it."

"Lou." Harry whispered, feeling tears gather in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I know you want to be with Roger now, and why shouldn't you? I just...I'll go."

"No." Harry said, scooting closer to Louis so that their legs were touching. "Please don't go."

"Are you sure you don't want me to-"

Harry cut Louis off by pressing his mouth to his, not able to wait another second. He grabbed Louis' face with his large hands, holding tight, almost as if if he let go, Louis would drift away.

He pulled away after a moment, "I love you, too." He breathed. "I love you so much. And after...After tour and after everything I tried to push those feelings down. Ignore them. And with Roger it was easier. He made me forget. But I don't want to push my feelings away anymore if you're sitting right here and you love me too."

"Of course I love you. How could I not? I've been an idiot, Harry. An absolute idiot for taking so long to figure it out. I'm just lucky I didn't lose my chance."

"You couldn't have, because deep down, I don't think I ever gave up on you. Not really."

Louis leaned in, kissing Harry, and tangling his hand in his curls, pulling Harry's face as close to his as he could. Harry ran his tongue along Louis' lower lip, and Louis took it into his mouth gladly, sucking on it and digging his teeth into it, too softly to be a bite, but with just enough pressure to make Harry mewl.

Harry stood up then, taking Louis' hands in his, "My room?"

Louis nodded eagerly, and they walked as quickly as they could to Harry's room, toppling down on the bed, Harry on top of Louis.

Harry reconnected their mouths, and Louis nibbled on Harry's bottom lip, which tickled more than anything, causing Harry to laugh into Louis' mouth.

"I've missed that sound." Louis whispered. "You haven't laughed because of me in a really long time, Hazza."

Rather than responding, Harry just dove back in, kissing Louis with as much emotion as he could muster without possibly crying all over him, because he felt that that might ruin the moment. He sat up a bit, tugging his own shirt off, and then reaching down, skimming his fingers along Louis' hemline as if asking for permission to remove his top as well. Louis gave him a small nod, raising his arms above his head, and Harry pulled the offending cloth off of the older boy's body.

He took a moment to take in the full expanse of Louis' chest, never really having had the time when they were on tour, everything generally being fast and often sloppy.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, leaning down to connect his lips to Louis' collarbone and begin sucking on the flesh.

Louis let out a gasp at the contact, "If I'm beautiful then what are you?"

Harry chuckled against Louis' flesh, but he was quite certain Louis was twice as lovely as he was.

They'd never talked much during sex, mostly just soft gasps and loud moans in the dark, and he wondered if this time would be different.

"Harry, please kiss me." Louis begged, and Harry obeyed.

He brought his mouth up to Louis', their lips moving together in perfect time with each other. Louis slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth, running it along the backs of his teeth, and along the smooth wetness of Harry's own tongue, and Harry let out a soft shudder.

He rolled his hips down into Louis' and felt as Louis' erection rubbed against his thigh.

"Fuck." Louis muttered.

Harry was startled, then, as Louis rolled them over so that Harry was on the bottom. Louis kissed him again, lips moving languidly as he slowly trailed his hands down Harry's torso, stopping for a moment to tweak a nipple before continuing on their path down to Harry's pants. He rubbed at Harry's length through the fabric for a moment before popping the button and undoing the zipper slowly.

"Lou, stop teasing." Harry whined, squirming around beneath the blue eyed boy.

Louis smiled, pulling Harry's jeans and underwear off in one go, and then going to remove his own. Harry watched as Louis' leaking cock sprang up, getting just the smallest drop of precome on his belly.

"So gorgeous." Harry breathed, expressing everything he'd always wanted to any time they'd been together in the past.

"Stop complimenting me before I can compliment you." Louis whispered.

"Sorry." Harry smiled. "Been waiting a long time to say all this."

"I may not have realized it before, but I've been waiting a long time to hear all of this."

"El never complimented you like this?"

"Not really, no. And besides, I meant specifically from you, Harry." Louis said, leaning down to kiss Harry on the temple. "Now don't mention her anymore."

Harry nodded.

Louis lay down on top of Harry so their bodies were completely flush against each other and began to leave a trail of soft, warm kisses all down his neck. He reached between them, taking both of their hard cocks into one of his small hands, and Harry chuckled, because his hands would be much more well equipped for this, but Louis seemed content, and so Harry was, too.

Louis raised his mouth to Harry's ear, breathing in it hotly before saying, "God, Harry. Want to feel you around me."

Harry nodded quickly, "Okay."

He wiggled around a bit underneath Louis to get himself at a better angle to reach into his drawer and grab out the lube. He handed it to Louis, who squirted some onto his fingers before lowering his hand to Harry's ass. He took his pointer finger, teasing Harry's hole just a bit before pushing it in slowly. Harry sighed at the intrusion, not feeling any pain, and feeling only a sense of normalcy, as if this was how things were supposed to be.

Louis added a second finger and then a third, moving them slowly, until Harry was bucking his hips down onto Louis' fingers, forcing them deeper inside of him.

"I'm ready, Lou." He panted. "God, I'm ready."

"Okay." Louis whispered, pulling his fingers out, and slicking up his cock with more lube.

He lined himself up with Harry's entrance, pushing in slowly, gently, until he was all the way in. The stretch felt absolutely perfect, even better than Harry had remembered. It wasn't too much, and it didn't hurt, and all Harry wanted was for Louis to move.

"Move, Louis."

Louis nodded, pulling out nearly all the way and then thrusting back in.

"God, I forgot how good you feel." Louis breathed, leaning down to press gentle kisses all across Harry's neck and shoulders. "You're so perfect, Harry. Everything about you."

And Harry almost laughed, because he'd been so smitten just earlier that evening when Roger had told him he looked perfect, but that moment couldn't even compare to this one. With Louis thrusting deep inside of him, telling him how perfect he was, Harry truly felt perfect.

"I love you, Louis." Harry choked out, trying not to let emotions get the better of him right now.

"I love you, Harry."

He thrust in again, hitting Harry's prostate and causing him to cry out, "Fuck, Lou. Right there."

Louis nodded, placing a hand on either side of Harry's head to get a bit more leverage as he thrust deep into Harry, hitting the bundle of nerves every time and causing Harry to whine.

"You've always made the prettiest little sounds, Harry." Louis mumbled into his hair. "God, the things you do to me."

Harry's hips bucked up at Louis' words, his mind unable to form words of its own at the moment.

"Are you close?" Louis asked, and Harry managed to get himself to nod. "Me, too." Louis breathed.

He reached down, taking Harry's leaking cock into his hand, dipping his thumb into the slit and collecting the precome there, sliding his hand down Harry's shaft and then back up again, working up a rhythm.

"C'mon, Harry." Louis whispered in Harry's ear, and Harry's hips bucked up once more against his will. "C'mon, love, I know how close you are. I can feel it."

And Harry felt so special in that moment, because he'd always been able to tell when Louis was about to come, and just to know that Louis could do the same with him sent a thrill of warmth straight through him.

Louis thrust in hard, flicking his thumb over the head of Harry's cock, all while whispering, "Come on, Harry. Come for me." into Harry's ear, and that was it. Harry was coming hard all over his own stomach and Louis' fist, his face contorting into an expression of pure bliss as he let out a deep moan that was meant to be Louis' name, but came out quite incoherently.

"Fuck, Harry. So pretty when you come for me." Louis muttered, spilling over the edge himself.

They lay there for a while, Louis still buried deep inside Harry neither one willing to move.

Harry figured he'd have to text Roger tomorrow. Explain this to him somehow. But he wasn't going to worry about that for now. Because right now, he was lying here with the boy that he'd been in love with for over three years lying on top of him, still inside him, both of them messy, but neither one caring in the slightest.

Louis brushed a few of Harry's sweat dampened curls out of his eyes, kissing him gently on the forehead, "I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too." Harry smiled at him, kissing his shoulder.

And sure, they'd done this plenty of times before, and maybe some people would even say that this wasn't special. But lying there, feeling the way that he felt, and knowing that this was the first time they'd done this whilst being in love, Harry knew that it was the most special thing he'd ever experience.


End file.
